.

It’s down to this: I can’t find myself under all this doubt anymore—as happens frequently, I’m afraid—and I don’t see a way forward. I don’t know whether I’ll ever be able to say of myself that I have integrity and believe it. All I see now is an idiot child-thing who will one day be someone that used to want to be a writer. 

But you believe in me. You always have. I cannot see anything about myself worth keeping, but you want me here. And I cannot build bridges or open doors, but I trust you as much as I can trust anyone. It’s down to this: I would rather keep promises than break them. I would rather create one fragile, worthless thing than nothing at all. I do not share or understand your faith, but I would rather prove you right than prove you wrong.